August 2012
56 posts
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Idea for an action movie: Next Stop, Freedom. A forward operating base in the mid east is over taken by evil forces. A junior soldier and an elderly female bus driver team up to save the day.
Junior soldier: I could stop them! If only I could get to the armory and commo shop on the other side of base. But it’s too dangerous…
Elderly female bus driver: I can get you there...
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Correction
When I said I didn’t know any Airmen who are deployed I meant combat deployments specifically. Lol silly ground pounder.
Tumblr user Hynsole is deployed to one of those Asian countries. So in closing I’m an ass and only think in terms of combat patches.
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Anonymous asked: If I send you the west wing,mill you vote for Mitt Romney?
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somethingclever88 asked: Best of both worlds I hope. going to talk to a recruiter on Friday I'm stoked got any advice for gay guy about to go in?
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rayjkardashian asked: let me smell your dickkkk
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If you’re not deployed and you send me an email asking whether I’ve “killed anybody” or “seen combat” do not expect a response.
Do people really not understand how rude this question is?
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Girl talk with T-Boz is a fun and unexpected part...
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rayjkardashian asked: you are soo gay nico
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Anonymous asked: So, do all deployed troops in Afghanistan get internet access?
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luvmyarmyhusband asked: The bear flag in the FOB is that officer from Sam Houston State University in Huntsville TX?
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somethingclever88 asked: What branch of the Military are you in?
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Me, apropos of nothing: Into every generation a slayer is born....
Teammates: ...what?
Me: I'm the fucking slayer >:(
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Anonymous asked: WTF is butt stroking? -your gay republican boyfriend
Traded
A COP for a FOB and my desk for a vest. Long missions are fun? Smell ya later, tumblr.
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BUTTSTROKING THE FUCK OUT OF THE NEXT PERSON THAT...
You’ve been warned
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On a positive note I have literally over drafted...
expect me to openly bitch about my ex-boyfriend to anyone who will listen
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Of Fob Goblins and Fitness
I’m not one to complain (just kidding, I LIVE for it) but today the Army has put me in a shitty mood. My company held a PT test today because IDF is totally no big deal. To say I performed poorly is an understatement. While I won’t make excuses for my performance, it’s important to note that I just spent three months on what’s arguably the most dangerous assignment in our...
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Watching Up for the first time.
oh my god i hope we don’t get idf anytime soon because i am so fucked up right now. my eyes are swollen and my face is pink oh gaaaaawwwd
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These bunkers
need to have a red carpet. I’d like it if Isaac Mizrahi or Steven Cojocaru (btw has he finished his transformation into Ursula from the little mermaid yet? jw) interviewed people about their sartorial choices as they hid from mortars. Really I just want someone to ask me about the interesting combination of platoon pt shirt, backwards pt pants, and ninja turtle feet.
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An official request
i-have-nightmares:
I’m heading to a forward site in a week that will have no internet access unless you’re on a mobile device.
I don’t yet know how, but I would be MORE than happy to repay someone were they to send me a thumb drive full of gay porn.
I’d ask friends but they’re all lesbians…
I’m 100% dead serious. Thanks!
super important signal boost.
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I came here with my dick in my hand. Don't make me...
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Seriously if someone has Allison Janney's contact...
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Will the Army let me change my religion to Allison...
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I Was Born a Unicorn- The Unicorns
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Bradley Manning is not a fucking hero
rayjkardashian asked: shut up nico, you're a bottom.
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When a port-a-potty says "Civilian Use Only"
I read it as “Nico, please pee on the lid”
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the DFAC here has special Ramadan hours :3
except i had pork ribs for dinner.
before Iftar.
i am just the worst at everything :(
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the FOB Goblins keep things colder than I'm used...
~:) brrrrr
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Bone Thugs n Harmony- Tha Crossroads
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FYI
The experiences I write about happen because I’m in Afghanistan. My posts are relevant because they chronicle a soldier’s perspective in a country that’s had a near continuous foreign military presence since the 70s. I’m going to keep using the Afghanistan tag. Feel free to use any tags you like.
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Anonymous asked: can you please not tag afghanistan in your military posts--it has no relevancy and quite frankly it's annoying since it messes up the tag. Imagine if i talked about random crap and decided to tag America in all my post just because i currently reside in America. No. Just no.
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Final Fantasy: OEF
Here are some cute lil’ stories from my super awesome week. ~<;)
The other day* I got an urgent text message from my left big toe saying, “L O L we need 2 go 2 the AID station. got stabbed ~<:(.” I won’t go too heavy into the sordid details (rumors about a drug deal gone bad have been circulating among my left foot) but when I was able to survey the damage for...
Better yet:
rangerthefuckup:
Make love in war.
you sound like the medic. IT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN, BRO
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At the memorial
I stared hard at the multicam rorschach blouse on the Soldier in front of me. I still can’t deal with this.
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One of two females I've seen in two months
is in her mid fifties. I see her when walk out to the shitters. Every move weighs heavy with significance. Her arms are crossed over her ACU patterned IBA, her eyes glazed over. No one walks very quickly. Her male counterpart speaks with a couple of NCOs. Their voices hushed as if the subject of their conversation might hear them. He won’t. The civilian’s tear stained eyes stare into...
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The 5.6.7.8’s-Woo Hoo
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Plastic Bertrand - Ça plane pour moi