July 2012
92 posts
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I didn't realize that civilian I work with was in...
whoops
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Why do guys still use facebook to hit on me?
1) I’m not that cute
2) I only use it to update my friends and family about my Afghastrointestinal woes
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civilian counter part: hey bro what's our unit called?
me: I'm not your bro. you're not fucking in the Army.
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freehudson replied to your post: Just showered for the first time in 8 days
now, ive been to afghanistan (and iraq unfortunately). im confused as to why you haven’t showered in 8 days. just thought i’d share. no need to explain.
Excellent question! sometimes we run out of greywater to shower with! Sometimes the generators that run our showers aren’t maintained because they’re not a...
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Just showered for the first time in 8 days
Listen fellas, I know you’re all going to be clamoring to be my boyfriend but not unlike the Highlander, there can only be one (except for that time where there were sort of two at one time, sorry Omar and Brandon!). I’ll let you guys settle this among yourselves. Start cutting off each other’s heads until such a time as one of you has won the coveted spot as my boyfriend.
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I hope Sarah Palin turns from her evil ways and...
gonna pray for her
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On Death
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered? Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim...
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Major Lazer feat Amber Coffman-Get Free
GET...
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Calle 13-Atrévete Te, Te
señorita...
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rayjkardashian asked: I know it's Ramadan but don't starve yourself, you need to eat.
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~casually considers ways of weaponizing MRE...
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Is Afghanistan making me an asshole?
I was looking at some random gay dude’s facebook. He seemed innocuous enough, maybe a little too duck face-y, but clearly he was a nice guy. I looked at his pictures and I thought to myself “it might be fun to ruin his life.” Wait a minute, what? Did I just fucking think that? Granted, I have a higher predilection for bitchiness for my hetero counterparts but usually that just...
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just googled "WHEN DOES MID TWENTIES START" in all...
so you know, thing are good.
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everybody whip yer dicks out
what we got ourselves here is a good old fashion dick measuring contest.
or is it pissing contest? Idk English isn’t my first language so American idioms aren’t really my thing
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Maybe
I’ve been here too long. Our late night conversations give me lots to look forward to. I like the idea of underpants dance parties. Maker’s Mark and Major Lazer. Heineken and Har Mar Superstar. Bourbon and beer battered breath make outs dominate my morning meeting day dreams. Hot breath slaps warm flesh and I can feel your fingers trace my spine until it’s time to snap back to my...
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LOL MY OLD LAB PARTNER FROM CHEM LAB JOINED THE...
SHE KEEPS GETTING TAGGED IN BASIC TRAINING PICTURES AND I AM LAUGHING SO HARD
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hynsole replied to your post: Life Lesson: DFAC Shrimp Addition
Lol. What’d you use to wipe?
I always carry couple wet wipes case a dude try to touch me (thursdays are very dangerous days)
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Life Lesson: DFAC Shrimp Addition
You may be tempted to eat the shrimp at the DFAC because 1) it’s the only fucking thing they’re serving and 2) you’re not a picky little bitch, BUT DON’T EAT THE FUCKING SHRIMP. YOU COULD WIND UP VERY SICK. YOU COULD POSSIBLY END UP PULLING DOWN YOUR PANTS IN A DITCH WHILE ON PATROL AND SHITTING RIGHT THERE LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL. THIS IS THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION YOU WANTED...
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me: wait. so you're telling me it's inappropriate to moon walk out of meeting with a lot of officers?
sergeant: uh, yeah.
me:
sergeant:
me:
sergeant:
me:
me: [moon walks out anyway]
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L-O-L →
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shout out to iTunes for fucking up EVERY download...
I guess I’m switching to Amazon for the remainder of this deployment
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hynsole replied to your photo: clockwise from upper right: Afghan pico de gallo,…
Clockwise from upper left.
this place makes me so much dumber omg
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not even trying to dance in a room full of...
hey fam, I’m flattered you wanna see me shake my shit in the middle of a room of all dudes. Really I am. But I saw that PBS Frontline documentary and (spoiler alert) it ends with me sitting on the floor of the shower and crying under the stream of water.
Thanks for the food, though. That shit is always good as fuck. I like how a traditional Afghan meal included french fries.
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It's past dinner time here
but I’m still putting on my best mandress to go to another afghan feast.
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One of my friends
from undergrad is starting medical school tomorrow. We took a few chem labs together. I remember cracking open a couple PBRs to do homework. I drank a lot in those days. I’m not salty about the way things turned out. In fact, after I get my five I’ll be able to start work on getting my ass into pharm school. I’m not upset with the way things turned out, but shit if I’m not...
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I hate shaving.
lcpllosee:
Fuck man.
Everytime I get a good scruff I have to shave it off.
Fuck.
Fuck.
I only shave once a week, if that. I haven’t cut my hair in three weeks
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FYI
Afghanis are a form of currency. Afghans are people.
For example: Your boy is straight posted in the club making it rain Afghanis on some Afghans
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redeployment to-do list
this is way early but WHATEVER
make an appointment with mental health
attend appointments at mental unless they conflict with my plans for day drinking
deal with my eyebrow situation
deal with my body hair situation D:
return my mom’s emails(?)
beat the shit out of my roommate because he didn’t pay me the money he owed me for internet
go America all over everybody’s ass
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rayjkardashian asked: you're bisexual nico
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guess who just slept five consecutive hours and...
this koonie!!!!!
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shout out to the asshole playing a dubstep remix...
YOU, SIR, ARE THE SPECIFIC REASON ALL THESE GUYS HATE US. GAHHHH EVERYONE IS THE WORST.
