April 2012
133 posts
3 tags
"no one will be surprised if you die"
-my mom during a casual lunch conversation
Apr 30th
2 notes
1 tag
Ugh
I’m hanging out with this guy I used to sort of date and he’s trying to have sex with me and IT IS NOT HAPPENING
Apr 29th
2 notes
penisinyourmomsmouth replied to your photo: Hello sun burn I don’t even know what this is a picture of. I’m completely confused. -___- my sun burnt ass back :|
Apr 29th
1 note
Apr 29th
3 notes
1 tag
Ran into my ex boyfriend
THANK GOD I WAS WEARING A TANK TOP
Apr 29th
3 notes
2 tags
tan face, tan hands, LILY WHITE EVERYTHING ELSE
pool party today. are you ready, fellas?
Apr 29th
1 note
1 tag
WatchWatch
no. no no no no no. WHY ARE DUCKS SO FUCKING TERRIFYING?????!?
Apr 29th
100,659 notes
Me: come over. I just don't want to feel alone anymore
Me: :(
Me: also your ass got pretty fat and I'm into that.
Apr 28th
6 notes
2 tags
went to a christian league softball game
How are these Christians supposed to flee from sin if they can’t even run through first base??? SMH
Apr 28th
9 notes
Me: Breathe if you find me attractive.
Entire human race: *dies from lack of oxygen*
Apr 28th
149,438 notes
1 tag
back in my home town
who wants to see how long it takes me to desperately call the ex-boyfriend who broke my heart???????????
Apr 28th
4 notes
Ordered a biscuit sandwich and a giant pop on my...
Lordt be a biscuit and sop this hangover up
Apr 28th
1 note
I literally ate a sleeve of thin mints at the USO...
Apr 28th
4 notes
Going through airport security drunk
Literally reached a new high/low tonight/this morning
Apr 28th
1 note
1 tag
I HOPE THEY ELT ME BOARD THIS PLANE DRUNK AS FUCK
Apr 28th
4 notes
2 tags
So many puerto rican flags hanging from rear view...
Is there even anybody left in the island????
Apr 27th
5 notes
WatchWatch
penisinyourmomsmouth: I had Staff Duty last night (24 Hour Shift) fun fact: i’ve never had staff duty or cq. i had fireguard, like, 5 times in basic. THAT IS ALL
Apr 27th
43 notes
5 tags
Smell Ya Later, ACUs
The next time I wear a military uniform it’ll be multicam. The next time I wear ACU pattern, if there is a next time, will be when I’m back stateside. 
Apr 27th
6 notes
2 tags
CAN THESE CADENCE SINGING MOTHERFUCKERS SHUT THE...
some of us don’t have to wake up early for pt anymore. 
Apr 27th
2 notes
i-have-nightmares replied to your post: my unit posted a bunch of pictures of me during our month long FTX PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPE if only that’s the way it worked :|
Apr 27th
1 note
1 tag
whisker biscuit
Apr 26th
3 tags
i have a file on my macbook called "octopus" that...
DON’T ASK I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO DO IT FOR ME. 
Apr 26th
4 notes
3 tags
my unit posted a bunch of pictures of me during...
LET’S JUST SAY I DON’T LOOK AWESOME AFTER NOT SHOWERING FOR 13 DAYS/ NOT SLEEPING FOR 3 DAYS
Apr 26th
3 notes
3 tags
Apr 26th
5 notes
4 tags
Apr 25th
5 notes
2 tags
Apr 25th
1 note
1 tag
Apr 25th
3 notes
4 tags
DREW A DUCK ON THE INSIDE OF MY PC BECAUSE YOLO
Apr 25th
4 notes
4 tags
hynsole replied to your post: people pretend to be in the military on the internet? I like to pretend I’m a flaming homosexual on the internet. And in my off time. And when I eat bananas.
Apr 25th
5 notes
2 tags
people pretend to be in the military on the...
that’s shitty. the only thing i’ve ever pretended to be on the internet is interesting
Apr 25th
11 notes
Apr 24th
102 notes
3 tags
Apr 24th
1 note
3 tags
presenter: in the event of an emergency the exits are located just in front of me and just behind me
me: motherfucker we are in a tent.
Apr 24th
6 notes
3 tags
sure, the army,
let me just change my flight at the last minute. I TOTALLY HAVE A SPARE $500 LAYING AROUND FOR THIS EXACT PURPOSE
Apr 24th
4 notes
Apr 24th
31 notes
Apr 24th
23 notes
I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN MY FRIENDS GET SHOT
ESPECIALLY WHEN I’M NOT THERE TO PROTECT THEM GAHHHH
Apr 24th
6 notes
3 tags
Apr 24th
6 notes
1 tag
Marine Killed in Possible Hate Crime →
Police say suspect, also a Marine, used homophobic slur during Barracks Row stabbing
Apr 23rd
1 tag
letsgottoafghanistan: Extreme conservatives are fucking mental. Extreme liberals are fucking mental as well. Moderation people. Moderation is the key.
Apr 23rd
37 notes
Anonymous asked: you're not a vagina, they're tough and can take a pounding :|
Apr 23rd
talkativequietkid asked: sorry i wasnt trying to sound mean.
Apr 23rd
1 note
talkativequietkid asked: i looove the pictures of your small pox pustule. I almost died laughing jajajaja
Apr 23rd
thatspfcthornman2you asked: How do you knock a ferret unconscious???? You are officially my hero!
Apr 23rd
live-your-life-dea-deactivated2 asked: Hey, I stumbled over your blog and found this whole body MRI. The black stuff is not poop - it’s air -> farts ;) Have a great day!
Apr 23rd
1 note
1 tag
Apr 23rd
237 notes
Accidentally knocked a ferret unconscious.
I should drink less :-(
Apr 22nd
2 notes
2 tags
Apr 22nd
237 notes
Anonymous asked: Looks like that bro what's to hook up with you. Too bad he's white, AND YOU NO DATE WHITE GUYS
Apr 22nd
3 notes
2 tags
last night i went out with a great guy who likes...
OF COURSE I’M DODGING HIS CALLS TODAY
Apr 22nd
1 note